Jonas’s character conning his way into the bed of his straight best friend. The writers of “Scream Queens” exorcised that anxiety through satire in a scene that gained traction on YouTube. “‘And what would that mean for the relationship?’” “A gay man can worry, ‘What if this guy thinks I’m coming on to him?’” Mr. The cliché and lingering suspicion that a gay man may harbor a crush on his straight friend potentially throws off the power balance and erodes trust. If such contrasts create fascination, other distinctions can be damaging. “Gay men are judging each other worse than women in terms of body shaming.” “Straight guys can let themselves go and no one cares,” Mr. On the other side, some gay men express jealousy over certain aspects of heterosexual male presentation. “One hot straight guy I know complains, ‘With a girl, I have to take her out and put on all these airs, when all I want to do is sleep with her and move on.’” “Straight guys complain, ‘You can just meet a guy and go home and have sex,’” Mr. Gay men say it is common for their heterosexual male friends to be jealous of, or at least compelled by, the efficiency and seeming ubiquity of man-on-man hookups. When you experience a close friendship with a straight guy and that person is very accepting, it’s a balm for some old wounds.”Īt the same time, striking contrasts exist in the two worlds. LaSala said: “friendships with straight men can be very healing. It’s nice not to have to listen to a chorus of people who feel compelled to act the same way.”įor gay men, Mr. “With heterosexual male friends, sometimes a subject comes up that will require a particular allegiance to what guys are expected to say and do. “There’s a sense of a reprieve,” said Odie Lindsey, 45, a straight fiction writer and gulf war veteran, whose new book of short stories, “We Come to Our Senses,” features several gay characters. There’s a playfulness in talking about sex that I don’t hear from my straight male friends.” A Balm for Old Wounds “My relationship with Michael, and with other gay men, is wonderful for me,” Dr. “Our traditional way of thinking of relationships with gay and straight men is that they are hostile, even bullying,” said Michael LaSala, 57, the author of “Coming Out, Coming Home: Helping Families Adjust to a Gay or Lesbian Child.” “For that reason, gay men have traditionally not felt comfortable in these relationships.” “They’re all part of an often male culture that young gay guys feel part of, too.”įor men of an older generation, there is more distrust to surmount. “It’s technology, superhero movies, Pokémon Go and even some indie rock,” he said. Gregory, the Irish author, thinks that one connecting point for the younger generation is the proliferation of geek culture. Testa to come out in college was discovering that friends from his high school football team were “the ones who most wanted me to do it,” he said. One of his greatest obstacles in coming out, he said, was something he thinks many gay men share: “the intense fear of losing those masculine friendships we have had.”Īs it happened, the main impetus for Mr. liaison for the district’s public schools, said the changes in relationships between straight and gay men have been so rapid that he sees a significant difference just since he graduated from high school. Vin Testa, 26, a math teacher in Washington, D.C., who is also an L.G.B.T. Cohen found that his heterosexual pal was the “ultimate wing man.”
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Cohen wrote that a friend had texted him: “if I’d celebrated gay pride in any more of a straight way, I’d have had sex with a girl at the Super Bowl.” Another night, Mr.
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In one outing, during gay pride weekend, they attended a concert by an incarnation of a band both men love, the Grateful Dead. Mayer no fewer than 14 times in his best-selling book “The Andy Cohen Diaries.” He also wrote an article for Entertainment Weekly last year chronicling their bromosexual exploits.
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Another Bravo series, “ Manzo’d With Children,” prominently features the relationship between the heterosexual lead brothers and their gay best friend, who was previously their roommate.Īnd that network’s most recognizable representative, Andy Cohen, who is gay, rarely misses an opportunity to toast his close kinship with the guitar hero and ultimate ladies man John Mayer. In the recent documentary “Strike a Pose,” about Madonna’s dance troupe from her “Blond Ambition” tour, a key plotline traces the arc of the lone straight dancer from homophobe to a man who becomes emotionally liberated by his many gay friends. By contrast, the last season of “Scream Queens” found the hunky Nick Jonas presenting himself as a gay frat boy who bonds over golf with his straight fraternity brother and best friend, Chad.